Notes for Recliners

I am most comfortable when I am lying on my side - preferably with something enjoyable to watch in front of me. To avoid injuring my armpit, I try to keep the ashtray away from the couch. When you live this way, you can easily lose track of time. This is because you have failed to rotate your clock face by ninety degrees. (In the case of digital, you have failed to stand the clock - or stove - up on its side.) And, sorry to disappoint you, but tilting the monitor upside down does not make the girls' clothes fall off, no matter how hard and frantically you shake it. If you're handy with tools you can put your couch on wheels and never once have to stand on your feet. You can be lying on the floor when the wheel delivery boy comes and get him to slide them under the door for you. Then, as long as your job is on a downhill incline from where you live, you can at least make it in for the first day. You're liable to attract a lot of women around you with all your lounging. Be careful they don't get in too close where they can kick you off the couch. They can have strong legs. People like me sound like they're having orgies in their house all the time but they are only defending their place on the couch from ferocious, lazy women. If you keep trying, eventually your bed evolves to take on couch functions. It offers, swimming, ski-dooing and co-ed mud wrestling, as well as turning itself into a dirigible in the event of a collision.
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