Doctor Hyde

You ever meet one of those soft spoken types who turns into Charles Manson after a few drinks? If so, I pity you. I just came back from a meeting with one. When he is sober, he is polite, attentive, and very kind. You can witness his transformation if you sit across from him for an hour. You can measure it by how much liquid remains in the bottle on the table. It's a classic case of suppressed grievances. If this fool would ever have learned to allow his drunken thoughts more into his sober world, he'd be much funner to drink with. I hate hearing people say, 'It was the booze talking.' No, the booze got YOU talking. It got you talking about things you feel you can't bring up when you are sober. Maybe if you adopted some of these drunken positions in your general affairs with people, you wouldn't need to drink. The irony of these characters is that they must be afraid of confronting people with unpleasant information, in order for them to build up their grievances to a volatile level. The last thing they want to do when they're sober is the first thing they want to do when they are drunk. I'm aware that the approach I'm suggesting would cost the sober side of such an individual some of its appeal, but the result would be a more consistent personality overall. That includes when he's celebrating his weekend.
More Scripts	Songs	Statements
© 2010. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

Fonty Python

Well, my font has changed on me and this stupid machine won't let me know how to get it back, except to take me all the way to the very last step and leave me uninformed from there. I wanted to write about something else but this is too distracting. It's too upsetting when I lose my font. I can't swear properly without those nice serifs on the capital letters. Watch. FUCKIN GALL DAMM SUN UH FA BLITCH! See? I left the 'g' off of 'fucking.'
More Statements	Scripts	Songs
© 2010. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

Comedic Justice

People who use my words. Oh, go right ahead! Don't mind me! When I'm hearing it come back to me through the radio or the TV, I'll just think, 'Oh my! Imitation is the highest form of flattery!' I won't be thinking about the cuts and bruises that gave rise to those words. I won't be wondering how much a writer who doesn't suffer enough can get paid to use them. Or about how ill fitting my life experience looks on strangers. Or about how much attention they are getting at my expense. Or even of how much love they might be getting at my expense, while I rot away alone in my apartment. I've learned to avoid such thoughts. They are a dead-end path to a blood spattered crime scene.
More Statements	Scripts	Songs
© 2010. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

Rudiments of Knowledge

I'm going to have to keep these posts as angry as possible, that they fit with the blog title. The other blog will be for more philosophic fits of rage. Pure rage is far from philosophic. You know why Socrates never got printed? He had way too many cuss words in his theories. In fact, the first words he could ever produce on any theory were 'Holy fucking fuck!' and he'd keep writing it over and over until great ideas would come out of it. For instance, the second holy fucking fuck might be misspelled, causing him to both question the intricacies of language and to write 'God Damn Fucking Spelling Errors!' He got the idea for capitalism while he was capitalizing the phrase, 'FUCKING CRIMINAL GANGSTER PIRATE MOTHERFUCKERS!' Plato had to go over all these writings after and edit them. Otherwise we'd all have to say we live in a shitocracy and we'd have a prime dumbfuck instead of a prime minister. The only remaining vestige of Socrates's influence is swearing on the Bible.
More Scripts	Songs	Statements
© 2010. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.